hijacked my heart...

He has hijacked my heart...again. I am so thankful that I serve a MIGHTY, HUGE, FORGIVING, and GRACE FILLED God...because He has to continually keep steeling this little bitty heart of mine...over and over. Unlike other thief's that steal and destroy...HE gives back 100 times over.  He came to give life, to bring joy and to give purpose. (John 10:10)  I'm always a little shocked and annoyed at myself for how easily I forget and want to "protect" portions of my heart from the one who provides the "desires of my heart". Heart revival is Gods work and I just need to keep surrendering.

My heart transformation has been a work in progress to say the least.  It needed a major overhaul! I wasn't even aware of a need for repentance at one point...didn't even think much about sin!  After I gave my heart back to God, He knew I need to some guidance. God lovingly placed some amazing women in my life the past several years that showed me who He really is and what a Christian looks like.  I spent the majority of my life with a lot of false ideas and notions of God and some very strong opinions about Christians that were based on a lot of lies.  I truly had no idea just how all encompassing God's magestic love is.  My new sisters in Christ were building me, teaching me and loving me. I was surrounded by women who for the first time in my life, I could trust with my "stuff" and they will filled with grace and mercy.  I was joked about becoming a "softy", I was letting my walls down, opening up and being vulnerable.  I was learning to surrender.

Just when I was getting comfortable, my family decides to make a big move...about 1000 miles away, 1149 miles to be exact.  Prayers, instagram, facebook, facetime, texting...these ladies are all still at my finger tips, a quick phone call away. However, there is still that blessing of being able to meet face to face...sit in time of prayer with each other, discuss the bible together and be in "community" together. I am missing them...desperately. I knew loneliness would be something I would have to deal with when the excitement of the move wore off.  I knew that I would easily want to slip into the old habit of "protecting" my heart and keeping people at a distance. This time, however,  I took the advice from my friends and I prayed about it ahead of time.  I knew I needed God to cover me.

HE is covering me as he always has.  He is faithful.  God is in pursuit of ALL of us,  ALL THE TIME.  In His pursuit of me...He sends His beautiful people my way.  On a daily basis I have met people in my new community who have invited me to church. I probably have gotten over 20 invitations!! Yesterday, I joined a small group of women called Mothers in Prayer (MIP) for prayer. I walked into a room of strangers but immediately felt "at home".  These ladies were also in love with Jesus...that knowledge flooded my heart with joy.  We spent an hour praying over our schools, the teachers, and our children. When you hear the soft whispering voices and heartfelt prayers of women, it will do nothing other than revive your heart.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude to God for his sweet blessings...it wasn't coincidence I walked into that house that day. He knew I needed it.  All or our needs are seen by Him.  He uses his ordinary people that walk in obedience and pour out love on others to reach us.  He pours out his blessings.  He really wants this whole heart of mine...he stole it...again.

Take a minute and think about how God might be pursuing you this week?  Have you seen Him this week? Does He do it through music, the bible, people, nature?  Have you taken time to acknowledge it or have you even noticed it?  Do you need a revival in your heart?  Or are you helping in obedience to love someone else..to point them to the one who does the REVIVAL...like my sisters in christ did! Remind yourself...He wants your heart! He wants you to surrender it daily so you can fix your eyes on the things above.

https://youtu.be/ZFORjUcHkKU

little red spot...

How do you respond to life's challenges as they get thrown at you? Sometimes the response to challenges like stress, anxiety, worries, fear or sin in our lives is to withdraw and "retreat"....to ignore and brush it off in hopes that it will just go away. Well...that is my tendency. I am the queen at "retreating" or ignoring any major issues in my life. I hate confrontation...with a passion. I like to stuff it down deep and let it hopefully disappear. In fact, my hubby and I did marriage counseling 20 years ago and they told us we would have a hard time in our marriage communicating because we both are "avoiders" or "stuffers". We decided that particular day to "avoid" that advice altogether and that became our last session. Yes...yes we did that..not our smartest decision ever. That might be a blog for another day!

Just this past week I have been confronted head on with the ramifications of what happens when you avoid things that just might need some attention. My little something was a little red spot in a zone on my body that doesn't get much sunlight. It definitely wasn't always there...and I have ignored that little red spot so long that I honestly can't remember when I first saw it? I just hoped it would go away...it wasn't causing much discomfort or pain. It wasn't a big deal.

Well...the little tiny red spot that I so perfectly ignored gradually grew to 2 inches and turns out it will need to get removed, as it is Basil Cell Carcinoma. Not anything too major. I'll at least get my insurane deducatble out of the way for the year...and oh it will be so lovely to be awake during the four hour surgury as they cut away the cancersous skin that I allowed to grow on my body. I'm not pleased with myself. If I took the time several years ago to address the little red spot...it would have been a pretty simple, less costly and annoying solution.

Are you ignoring any glaring "spots" in your life? Do you tend to retreat or run away from issues? This has just been a great reminder that they will grow, they can fester, they won't go away...especially if it is sin. Sin has a way of sneaking up on you...starts out as insignificant and small. Maybe it is just a little unforgivemess, or bitterness or jealousy or gossip. That little something can grow and become something so big it can consume you. When it comes time for Jesus to do some cutting away...it might hurt...a lot. There might be some stitches! We have the Holy Spirit residing inside us to convict us to confront us. Listening to Him is way better than running away.

I ran away from God for most of my life. I now know that I have to to RUN to him...not away. When I ran from God it was because I didn't want to confront those areas in my life that needed fixing. I didn't want to let God get to close. I thought I might be hurt. God isn't in the business of HURTING. God wants us to rest in HIM. He will show us the areas we need refining in...but HE DOES the work for us. He has created us, and saved us and calls us to a much higher purpose than we can fathom. Jesus didn't run away from God...He ran to Him. He regularly had to get away when he was hurting or when important decisions needed to be made. HE went towards God to heal and renew his soul. There are things we need to confront head on in our lives. It may be the joys in our life or grief or losses, to shed some tears or maybe even to sit in anger or to confront our loneliness. If we take time away, to be silent we can take that time to ALLOW HIM be with us in each of those places.

Not everything can be fixed, but when we are in Gods presence it gives us that patience to wait for Him to accomplish what needs to be done.

Taking time to retreat and get away and replenish and look deep within and get to know God on a deeper level can be intoxicating. Experiencing Gods love and his prescence is powerful. You have to bend a little, yield a little. No more withdrawing and hiding but be wide open in honest.

Time-out!!

It wasn't long ago we had a little "time out" corner in our house.  Like clockwork...when the clock struck 4:00pm (what I called the bewitching hour ) one of my kiddies was probably found on that wooden chair with tiny arms crossed, pouting lips and an angry heart.  They needed a little break fom each other or from me.  They needed some time for a little heart change or attitude adjustment and quite possibly needed to come up with an apology.  Time outs...really did help!  I will confess, I may have found a little space in the closet somewhere where I needed to do the exact thing...to escape and examine what was happening within me.  I needed a little "time out" as well.

Us mommas weren't the first to come up with time outs!  God created the Sabbath day as a day of rest for his people.  We need to step outside our everyday life and seek Him.  We have mastered the busy part of life but we do not even know how to unplug anymore.  We live for the frazzle, almost brag about it!  We live in a time where busy is best. We do not even know HOW to be at rest.  Busy just isn't doing us any favors.  We need to be renewed, and refreshed and revived.   Jesus always took time away from all the crazy that was happening around Him. He retreated.  Give yourself permission to take a "time out".  Time to pray and have quiet time and to listen to what God has to say to your heart.