hijacked my heart...

He has hijacked my heart...again. I am so thankful that I serve a MIGHTY, HUGE, FORGIVING, and GRACE FILLED God...because He has to continually keep steeling this little bitty heart of mine...over and over. Unlike other thief's that steal and destroy...HE gives back 100 times over.  He came to give life, to bring joy and to give purpose. (John 10:10)  I'm always a little shocked and annoyed at myself for how easily I forget and want to "protect" portions of my heart from the one who provides the "desires of my heart". Heart revival is Gods work and I just need to keep surrendering.

My heart transformation has been a work in progress to say the least.  It needed a major overhaul! I wasn't even aware of a need for repentance at one point...didn't even think much about sin!  After I gave my heart back to God, He knew I need to some guidance. God lovingly placed some amazing women in my life the past several years that showed me who He really is and what a Christian looks like.  I spent the majority of my life with a lot of false ideas and notions of God and some very strong opinions about Christians that were based on a lot of lies.  I truly had no idea just how all encompassing God's magestic love is.  My new sisters in Christ were building me, teaching me and loving me. I was surrounded by women who for the first time in my life, I could trust with my "stuff" and they will filled with grace and mercy.  I was joked about becoming a "softy", I was letting my walls down, opening up and being vulnerable.  I was learning to surrender.

Just when I was getting comfortable, my family decides to make a big move...about 1000 miles away, 1149 miles to be exact.  Prayers, instagram, facebook, facetime, texting...these ladies are all still at my finger tips, a quick phone call away. However, there is still that blessing of being able to meet face to face...sit in time of prayer with each other, discuss the bible together and be in "community" together. I am missing them...desperately. I knew loneliness would be something I would have to deal with when the excitement of the move wore off.  I knew that I would easily want to slip into the old habit of "protecting" my heart and keeping people at a distance. This time, however,  I took the advice from my friends and I prayed about it ahead of time.  I knew I needed God to cover me.

HE is covering me as he always has.  He is faithful.  God is in pursuit of ALL of us,  ALL THE TIME.  In His pursuit of me...He sends His beautiful people my way.  On a daily basis I have met people in my new community who have invited me to church. I probably have gotten over 20 invitations!! Yesterday, I joined a small group of women called Mothers in Prayer (MIP) for prayer. I walked into a room of strangers but immediately felt "at home".  These ladies were also in love with Jesus...that knowledge flooded my heart with joy.  We spent an hour praying over our schools, the teachers, and our children. When you hear the soft whispering voices and heartfelt prayers of women, it will do nothing other than revive your heart.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude to God for his sweet blessings...it wasn't coincidence I walked into that house that day. He knew I needed it.  All or our needs are seen by Him.  He uses his ordinary people that walk in obedience and pour out love on others to reach us.  He pours out his blessings.  He really wants this whole heart of mine...he stole it...again.

Take a minute and think about how God might be pursuing you this week?  Have you seen Him this week? Does He do it through music, the bible, people, nature?  Have you taken time to acknowledge it or have you even noticed it?  Do you need a revival in your heart?  Or are you helping in obedience to love someone else..to point them to the one who does the REVIVAL...like my sisters in christ did! Remind yourself...He wants your heart! He wants you to surrender it daily so you can fix your eyes on the things above.

https://youtu.be/ZFORjUcHkKU

little red spot...

How do you respond to life's challenges as they get thrown at you? Sometimes the response to challenges like stress, anxiety, worries, fear or sin in our lives is to withdraw and "retreat"....to ignore and brush it off in hopes that it will just go away. Well...that is my tendency. I am the queen at "retreating" or ignoring any major issues in my life. I hate confrontation...with a passion. I like to stuff it down deep and let it hopefully disappear. In fact, my hubby and I did marriage counseling 20 years ago and they told us we would have a hard time in our marriage communicating because we both are "avoiders" or "stuffers". We decided that particular day to "avoid" that advice altogether and that became our last session. Yes...yes we did that..not our smartest decision ever. That might be a blog for another day!

Just this past week I have been confronted head on with the ramifications of what happens when you avoid things that just might need some attention. My little something was a little red spot in a zone on my body that doesn't get much sunlight. It definitely wasn't always there...and I have ignored that little red spot so long that I honestly can't remember when I first saw it? I just hoped it would go away...it wasn't causing much discomfort or pain. It wasn't a big deal.

Well...the little tiny red spot that I so perfectly ignored gradually grew to 2 inches and turns out it will need to get removed, as it is Basil Cell Carcinoma. Not anything too major. I'll at least get my insurane deducatble out of the way for the year...and oh it will be so lovely to be awake during the four hour surgury as they cut away the cancersous skin that I allowed to grow on my body. I'm not pleased with myself. If I took the time several years ago to address the little red spot...it would have been a pretty simple, less costly and annoying solution.

Are you ignoring any glaring "spots" in your life? Do you tend to retreat or run away from issues? This has just been a great reminder that they will grow, they can fester, they won't go away...especially if it is sin. Sin has a way of sneaking up on you...starts out as insignificant and small. Maybe it is just a little unforgivemess, or bitterness or jealousy or gossip. That little something can grow and become something so big it can consume you. When it comes time for Jesus to do some cutting away...it might hurt...a lot. There might be some stitches! We have the Holy Spirit residing inside us to convict us to confront us. Listening to Him is way better than running away.

I ran away from God for most of my life. I now know that I have to to RUN to him...not away. When I ran from God it was because I didn't want to confront those areas in my life that needed fixing. I didn't want to let God get to close. I thought I might be hurt. God isn't in the business of HURTING. God wants us to rest in HIM. He will show us the areas we need refining in...but HE DOES the work for us. He has created us, and saved us and calls us to a much higher purpose than we can fathom. Jesus didn't run away from God...He ran to Him. He regularly had to get away when he was hurting or when important decisions needed to be made. HE went towards God to heal and renew his soul. There are things we need to confront head on in our lives. It may be the joys in our life or grief or losses, to shed some tears or maybe even to sit in anger or to confront our loneliness. If we take time away, to be silent we can take that time to ALLOW HIM be with us in each of those places.

Not everything can be fixed, but when we are in Gods presence it gives us that patience to wait for Him to accomplish what needs to be done.

Taking time to retreat and get away and replenish and look deep within and get to know God on a deeper level can be intoxicating. Experiencing Gods love and his prescence is powerful. You have to bend a little, yield a little. No more withdrawing and hiding but be wide open in honest.

Time-out!!

It wasn't long ago we had a little "time out" corner in our house.  Like clockwork...when the clock struck 4:00pm (what I called the bewitching hour ) one of my kiddies was probably found on that wooden chair with tiny arms crossed, pouting lips and an angry heart.  They needed a little break fom each other or from me.  They needed some time for a little heart change or attitude adjustment and quite possibly needed to come up with an apology.  Time outs...really did help!  I will confess, I may have found a little space in the closet somewhere where I needed to do the exact thing...to escape and examine what was happening within me.  I needed a little "time out" as well.

Us mommas weren't the first to come up with time outs!  God created the Sabbath day as a day of rest for his people.  We need to step outside our everyday life and seek Him.  We have mastered the busy part of life but we do not even know how to unplug anymore.  We live for the frazzle, almost brag about it!  We live in a time where busy is best. We do not even know HOW to be at rest.  Busy just isn't doing us any favors.  We need to be renewed, and refreshed and revived.   Jesus always took time away from all the crazy that was happening around Him. He retreated.  Give yourself permission to take a "time out".  Time to pray and have quiet time and to listen to what God has to say to your heart.

Identity....

Sometimes...we just need a simple reminder: 

Idenitity

• 2 Corinthians 5:17 - I Am A New Creation - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
• John 1:12 - I Am A Child of God - Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—
• 1 Peter 2:9 - I Am Royalty - But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
• Matthew 5:14-15 - I Am A Light - “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house."
• 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 - I Have Been Sealed - Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
• Colossians 3:3-4 - I Am Hidden In Christ - For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
• Romans 8:17 - I Am An Heir Of God- Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
• Ephesians 1:4 - I Am Chosen - For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.
• 1 Corinthians 2:12 - I Have His Spirit - What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.
• John 15:16 - I Am Appointed - You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

I will Follow

About a month ago I celebrated turning 40. Well, not sure if "celebrated" is the correct word.  I pretty much just cringed, whined and moaned about it...there wasn't any celebrating!  My lovely family got me a cake that said "Lordy Lordy, looks who's 40?" and they got a big lovely eye roll right back at them!  ha ha.   I've never been a big birthday fan, so this milestone wasn't one I really wanted to celebrate, easier just to let it slide past without much of a thought.   However, just two days ago I had another pretty significant birthday...I turned six. Six? This birthday was not going to slide past...no way.  I welcomed that day with much gratitude and thankfulness, and I am still left in a big mess of humble awe and tears when I think about it.  Half of my life, I spent pretty much giving Jesus my middle finger, and I had no idea who he really was.  So...six years ago I made the choice to believe that Jesus is the Messiah and to follow him.  Moreover, my life, as God promised, was never to be the same. My entrance into the world physically 40 years ago is pretty marvelous, cool and miraculous. However, even this cannot compare to what God did supernaturally to my heart, mind, and soul when I was finally done following my own path.  I acknowledged my need for Him, and gave my life back to Him, and was supernaturally born again! 

My small group is in the midst of studying John, and I am looking at it with fresh eyes. Sure, I've read it, maybe even a couple times but this time I am looking at it from a whole new perspective.  John had so much to share...SO much that it must have been the most thrilling and exhilarating thing to pass on this good news.  He had the answers to the purpose of LIFE just ready to be written down!  John even says, "These are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God and that by believing you may have Life in his name" (John 20:31).  LIFE...in HIS name!! This is NOT some "self-help" book where you "try" to change yourself. By believing, your LIFE is actually being transformed by God.

Imagine what it must have been like to follow Jesus in the flesh?  Is CRAZY exciting right? To be there walking beside him, on the dusty roads with hundreds trailing behind just waiting for him to share. Watching him work some crazy miracles and boldly speaking his truth over and over about being the light of the world and promising that we will see life in a whole new way.  Imagine getting to drink water and break bread with him and to watch as he patiently showed grace, mercy and love to those around him that were over and over again questioning him.  Imagine as all the bits and pieces came together and John was finally seeing Jesus for whom He was claiming to be?   I am a little jealous sometimes when reading it. John got to have this hands-on experience with Jesus. Immediately, I am reminded ever so graciously that how dare I think like that!  I get the privilege of reading John's testimony.  Matthew, Mark and Luke's testimony, and all of the men and women and their stories all written down and preserved in a big beautiful book of Truth.  The Bible is at my fingertips daily.  It is on my phone that gets carried around 24/7!  I've also encountered the miracle of Jesus, and the promise of what he taught is being fulfilled in my life. Not only that, but I also get to follow him daily!  Am I doing so great at that? No.. Not necessarily. Honestly, if I were in John's shoes some 2000 years ago, it might in reality look like this...

"Hey Jesus, can you just hold your horses for a bit...take a little break...slow down...have a glass of wine maybe?  I've got some Facebook I need to catch up on." 

Or maybe I'd say something like this..

 "Jesus, I know you are probably going to perform some really cool miracle like making the blind man see when we get to the bathing pool...but can you just wait till I watch that latest HGTV House Hunters?  I don't want to miss that episode...looked so good...but I don't want to miss your miracle healing either..so can we just chill?" 

WHAT???  Never right??  Then what am I doing with my life now?   Truth be told, why do I fight daily with the battle to follow him now...today...present tense?  It's not an easy journey we are on. I'm being "stretched and chiseled" as they say.  Daily, I am humbled.  The enemy wants me far away as possible from that sweet Bible that sits in my house waiting to show me truth. He wants my mind so cluttered I can't seem sometimes to get good prayer time in.  The enemy wants me to seek out the truth in the lies that are swarming me from every direction.  But I can't let this happen.  I don't want to be on the sidelines following and missing out on the abundant life that was offered me!   Each day I need to fix my eyes on Him and only HIM.  Celebrating my rebirth each year is valuable, but celebrating it each day is vital. It reminds me of who I need to follow...who I choose to follow...who I desire to follow. Jesus is the only way. 

Check out this video...that encourages me to ask that question..."who are you following?"
Who or what are you following today?  Are you at the back of the line...on the fringes breathing in the dust of others as they follow Christ...or are you right up there beside him linking arms?

Do not be lulled into thinking ANYTHING is better than God. GOD is BETTER. Fix your EYES on Him and CHASE after Him.

Amway, Jesus and Rotten Apples....

Amway.  Just speaking aloud that one word seems to send cringes to the faces of everyone I know, like they just took a big bite of what looked like a delicious yummy golden apple only to discover it was bitterly rotten.  Every new "multi level" marketing company has to sort of get past that hump that they aren't like Amway, they aren't a pyramid scheme and that they don't "taste rotten".   A few bad apples ruined Amway's reputation.  Who doesn't get that urge to run when you start to hear the sales pitch from a friend that just "joined the next best thing"?  I would describe this much like how I reacted to anyone sharing Jesus with me.  Just another person trying to get me to go to their Church.  It was a long hard sales pitch for those loving people that God placed in my path.

I love to think back on my PJ times...which in my world refers to "Pre-Jesus" times.  PJ...I used to hear the word Jesus and I would literally cringe!  I would turn that radio station so quick once I realized that it was a Christian station. I would turn quickly the other direction if I saw the neighbor who liked to invite me to his church on Sunday.  Jesus was nothing more than a bitter tasting apple to me.   How or what got me to that response?  It's a long complicated story...but it boils down to that I associated Jesus and God to the people around me that represented Him.  I didn't even bother to get to know Him.  I chose to put blinders on and saw God through the eyes of the Church that let me down and the Christians around me who I viewed as self righteous and hypocritical.  Unfortunately, I only remembered all the "bad apples" I bit into growing up. There were people out there slaughtering the name of Jesus and I bought their sales pitch, hook line and sinker without doing any further research.  What a small world I had created. Do we let others view of God determine our image of God?  Do we really know Him?  Have we taken the time to have a relationship with Him and Him alone?  We can not understand who we are in Christ...unless we really know who God truly is?  So much misinformation has been given to us on God.  I spent years with an idea of who God was without ever opening up the source...the Bible to see for myself or asking Him directly.  I was looking at the world like it was a rotten apple...I was running away from Church like it was Amway and that made my view of God ultimately cringe worthy.  It's heart wrenching that I choose to do that for so many years.  Good news is...it's been five years since AJ....(after Jesus) and my I'm learning about what true love is all about.  I don't cringe at His name, in fact I want to shout, jump or just smile when I hear a great Christian song singing his Glory on the Christian Station.  I can't wait to go to Church on Sundays and be filled with His wisdom.  I want to just praise Him when I hear a story of His redeeming love.  I'm learning to be rid of all the "rotten" views I have of God.  He isn't any old rotten apple.  He is like biting into a perfectly sweet juicy Golden Delicious which makes your taste buds explode times a million.